


Guilty Heart

by Yusuke (foxjar)



Series: Shukita Week 2019 [5]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Canon, Romance, Shukita Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18556510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/Yusuke
Summary: Yusuke feels guilty when he sees a man he wants to draw — who isn't Akira.





	Guilty Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Shukita Week Day Five: inspiration/betrayal.
> 
> Title from Mika's "Origin of Love."
> 
> This story can be taken as a continuation of ["Best of Me"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18492544) (e.g. Yusuke does finally end up getting back into wanting to draw people other than Akira again, after they've been dating a while), but I didn't necessarily write it with that in mind, so feel free to interpret it however you like!

Yusuke sees him on his way home — the man with violet eyes. From behind, something reminds him of Akira, but he can’t put his finger on it. It might be the way he seems to carry himself: confident and sure as he makes his way through the streets of Tokyo. 

It’s when Yusuke first sees his eyes that he realizes he wants to draw him. That fact hurts more than it should, and it makes his chest tighten. He stops following the man a few feet outside of the train station, and when he does, it’s like the world around him roars to life. Now he can hear the scuffing of feet on the sidewalk, and the faint twinkle of music down the street.

When he was looking at the man, he had stopped hearing life, and he hadn’t even realized it.

Akira can tell something is wrong the moment Yusuke steps into their shared apartment. He pauses cooking dinner — a hobby he picked up due to Yusuke’s frequent kitchen mishaps — to welcome him home.

Even before Akira is wrapping him up in one of his tight hugs, he can see that look in his eyes: curious, with a hint of worry. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong — not directly, at first — and instead he leads him over to the dining table. When his boyfriend dishes him up a plate of food, he shakes his head.

“I’m not hungry.” Despite the way his stomach growls, his mind is on other things — of people and places he’ll likely never see again, and how he shouldn’t have taken those moments for granted. Even worse is the guilt, gnawing at him more agonizingly than his hunger.

Akira brushes some of the hair from his face to kiss his forehead, his lips comforting in a way he doesn’t feel that he deserves. “What’s wrong?”

He admits everything that happened with a heavy heart, as if he’s been carrying this betrayal for months instead of hours. Akira listens to his confession without interruption, still running his hands through his hair gently, never letting him forget that he loves him.

When Yusuke finishes, Akira kisses him again — on the lips this time.

“That’s not how relationships work, Yusuke,” he says against his lips.

“But I —”

Akira sits in his lap, resting his hands on Yusuke’s shoulders as he makes himself comfortable. Yusuke loves the closeness, not having realized how much he needed it until his boyfriend presses his chest against him and starts kissing him over and over.

“I know you feel like drawing me is an act of intimacy,” Akira says after he’s pulled away. “And it is. But you can draw other people, too.”

Yusuke has drawn half the people they know by now, but he doesn’t feel entirely in the clear just yet. Something about this instance feels different — an urge to create something new that pulses inside him that he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Besides, we’ll always have this,” Akira continues, grabbing Yusuke’s hands and placing them on his waist. “This isn’t something you do with anyone else, is it?”

It’s a rhetorical question, he realizes. Akira loves teasing him with those to bolster whatever point he’s trying to make. So Yusuke doesn’t answer with words — he just kisses him back, and when Akira leads him by the hand toward the bedroom, he doesn’t have any further rebuttals.

“Never apologize for wherever your muse takes you,” Akira says, pulling him down on top of him into the safety of their bed. He cups his cheek and smiles up at him. “Even if it’s away from me.”


End file.
